!!!!!!!!!!!$&@( you!
- Thread starter Quadrider10
- Start date
sorry to hear that bro.
but better him than you right ?
btw, you can learn from bad examples too......
what not to do.
break the cycle and be a better man the he !
No one knows him except my family. Outside world is completely oblivious and thinks he's an angle.
He txted me earlier. For the record, I haven't talked to him in person or on the phone for 3 years now.
2102: Sorry if I missed your call I was out all day-Dad
Me: Wow
Btw he signs his name at the end of all his texts because he knows that I've deleted his number 5 years ago and would always reply "who's this"
He txted me earlier. For the record, I haven't talked to him in person or on the phone for 3 years now.
2102: Sorry if I missed your call I was out all day-Dad
Me: Wow
Btw he signs his name at the end of all his texts because he knows that I've deleted his number 5 years ago and would always reply "who's this"
he signs the wrong name then.
he has to be a "dad" to call himself one !
you had it right above....."father"
don't let it get to you patrick, you're doing just fine on your own, in my opinion !
use this negative experience to produce a positive result, to be a better "dad" someday than he was.
you already know what not to do.
he has to be a "dad" to call himself one !
you had it right above....."father"
don't let it get to you patrick, you're doing just fine on your own, in my opinion !
use this negative experience to produce a positive result, to be a better "dad" someday than he was.
you already know what not to do.
It just pisses me off on how he tried to remind me to call him. He did this sh*t 2 tears ago too.
dont let it get to you.......
you could ignore him completely
or you could call him, to prove a point....... but now that i say that idk what that point would be.......
you could ignore him completely
or you could call him, to prove a point....... but now that i say that idk what that point would be.......
I have a daughter about the same age as you, who feels the same way about me.
I tried. I used to call her, text her. I tried to spend time with her.
She stopped answering my calls, she was "busy that day".
Her mom left me when she was 5. Painted me as the bad guy, cuz there has to be a reason, right?
I tried real hard to be there for her, but she and her mom would keep the concert dates from me, ignore my calls.
When she broke her leg, I stayed all night with her in the hospital because she was scared.
Next day, they wouldn't answer calls about how she was doing.
So, after years of this I get the picture. I give up. I will wait until she is ready because I don't need the abuse.
I call or text on her birthday and holidays. I don't get upset if I don't get an answer.
I am lucky to have 4 other children, who all called me today.
I haven't forgotten her, just waiting until she matures enough to stop playing the games with my heart.
Because it does hurt my heart, but I am not going to play the victim.
I am out enjoying life, active, accomplishing things. Not sitting beside a phone.
I love her completely. I know she is still a child and is being misguided.
I remember when I was a teen, angry with my parents, sure of everything.
Today I spent my father's day a thousand miles from my home beside a hospital bed.
My father is dying from a weak heart.
He has missed years out of my life, but I love him just the same for the years that he was there.
Don't waste the years with a petty anger. Put God in your heart and do the right thing.
Bitterness is a poison that you take for yourself.
Steve
I'm sorry to hear that best. Hope your dad does better.
My parents werrr the same as u described. My mom less then my dad. But one would always paint a bad picture about the other.
As soon as me and my brother arrived at his house, he would make us change our cloths. His reason was that he didn't want then to get dirty. My ass. On top of that all the cloths we had there were all garage saleccloths. Half of mine were girls cloths. Keep in mind this guy is rich. But he's a cheap bastard.
I remember going over his house every weekend. It felt like prison. To keep my mind off things I use to go over my friends "alex," house all day to stay away from him. If he wasn't home I would be in the basement trying to build something all day.
I remember one day my brother ran away from him. His friend Dave drove him down to rt 23 highway and from there my mom picked him up. He couldn't stand the way he was being treated anymore. My mom picked him up and drive him home. About 3 hrs later my dad barged into my room. And I was already balling my eyes out. He asked where he was ans I said I don't know. He grounded me for lying, called Dave's parents and she said that he's with his mom. My dad called the police and said that his son was kidnapped by his "f*cking X" and taken away. He explain the court order to them. They said call child services. He di. They went to my mom's house and from there I have no idea what happened. After they went to court I believe.
We were forced to go there every Monday and Thursday and every other weekend. I hated every day of it.
About 6 years ago, we went to court AMD got visitation to I'm allowed to go when I want to. And I can live at either house. So I went to his house, about 3 times the year after. We then went tp counseling where the councillor was complete against me. My dad during the time acted like a charming angel and all loving and all forgiving.... That made me cry and because I was crying t all the sessions she concluded that o dident know what I was doing and felt scared. So I just dident go anymore. And never went to Hia house after. Did everytging I could to ignore him.
And I know that when parents have divorces like this, the child always favors one because of what the other says. My mom every so often said o should see him. Bit I never wanted too.
I can write books and books on what he did. I try to forcefully forget these memories.
For six years, people have asked me about my dad and ask why they never see him. For six years I've said I've don't have a dad.
My parents werrr the same as u described. My mom less then my dad. But one would always paint a bad picture about the other.
As soon as me and my brother arrived at his house, he would make us change our cloths. His reason was that he didn't want then to get dirty. My ass. On top of that all the cloths we had there were all garage saleccloths. Half of mine were girls cloths. Keep in mind this guy is rich. But he's a cheap bastard.
I remember going over his house every weekend. It felt like prison. To keep my mind off things I use to go over my friends "alex," house all day to stay away from him. If he wasn't home I would be in the basement trying to build something all day.
I remember one day my brother ran away from him. His friend Dave drove him down to rt 23 highway and from there my mom picked him up. He couldn't stand the way he was being treated anymore. My mom picked him up and drive him home. About 3 hrs later my dad barged into my room. And I was already balling my eyes out. He asked where he was ans I said I don't know. He grounded me for lying, called Dave's parents and she said that he's with his mom. My dad called the police and said that his son was kidnapped by his "f*cking X" and taken away. He explain the court order to them. They said call child services. He di. They went to my mom's house and from there I have no idea what happened. After they went to court I believe.
We were forced to go there every Monday and Thursday and every other weekend. I hated every day of it.
About 6 years ago, we went to court AMD got visitation to I'm allowed to go when I want to. And I can live at either house. So I went to his house, about 3 times the year after. We then went tp counseling where the councillor was complete against me. My dad during the time acted like a charming angel and all loving and all forgiving.... That made me cry and because I was crying t all the sessions she concluded that o dident know what I was doing and felt scared. So I just dident go anymore. And never went to Hia house after. Did everytging I could to ignore him.
And I know that when parents have divorces like this, the child always favors one because of what the other says. My mom every so often said o should see him. Bit I never wanted too.
I can write books and books on what he did. I try to forcefully forget these memories.
For six years, people have asked me about my dad and ask why they never see him. For six years I've said I've don't have a dad.
I will second that motion.
Hang in there lad, he obviously is trying to mess with your mind.
I feel for you man. It is tough being the child of a parent that has no parenting skills. My exwife has not seen our children in three years. The kids are lacking that relationship in there lives. Fortunately they have a great step-mother that tries to fill the void. As great as she is my children still want a relationship with thier biological mother.
They have been disappointed many times by her. And I have tried to teach them as Awk has said to learn from this a become a better person. They are now 23, 21, and 18. Old enough to make there own decisions. They have decided to have nothing to do with her.
I have told them for years if they want a relationship with her it needs to be gaurded. Don't expect her to act as a parent and you won't be disappointed.
I suggest the same to you. If you have a relationship with him don't expect anything and you will not allow yourself to be upset. It is unfortunate that a child needs to protect themselves from a parent, but anyone can have a child, being a parent is another thing.
They have been disappointed many times by her. And I have tried to teach them as Awk has said to learn from this a become a better person. They are now 23, 21, and 18. Old enough to make there own decisions. They have decided to have nothing to do with her.
I have told them for years if they want a relationship with her it needs to be gaurded. Don't expect her to act as a parent and you won't be disappointed.
I suggest the same to you. If you have a relationship with him don't expect anything and you will not allow yourself to be upset. It is unfortunate that a child needs to protect themselves from a parent, but anyone can have a child, being a parent is another thing.
Yeah, I understand. I really do.
I didn't understand the dynamic of what was happening, so I went to counsellors, read books, and took courses on it.
I had been a good strong father, a bit strict, raised 2 kids who went on to be very successful.
After the divorce, I "became" an azzole??? What is with this?
Divorce is traumatic for kids. The solid foundation beneath their feet is gone.
They long for a secure relationship, and will do anything to hang on to it.
If both parents are fighting, they are forced to pick sides, they will usually move to the more lenient one.
Now the last thing they want to do is break ties with that parent, so they form a bond against a common foe.
The child finds fault in everything the alienated parent does and reports it back to receive reassurance.
Not that the alienated parent is doing everything right. Few of us are experts but the targeted parent is set up for failure.
As a teen, you cannot help but feel the way you do. Too many forces working on you. Not enough maturity to understand.
If you develop normally (and there is a possibility you won't) you will figure it all out and make peace.
You will realize both parents have faults beyond their control, accept them, and look for the good in each of them.
I have been through this with 4 of my children who have matured through it.
Only one more to go. I'll be patient and wait for her to grow up, missing the years with her, but what else can I do?
Ever been on a great vacation?
Long car trip, stuck in the back seat, hot, fighting with your brother?
Lots of rules, lots of waiting? But was it ever fun when you got to the beach!
Life is like that. Cannot be candy all the time. Strong dads make good adults.
Very few of them are experts, but if you make an effort to get to know them, you will find they are the best friend you will ever know.
Even with their faults.
Steve
i have went through some of this if this is how i think it means..
my mum and dad use to argue all the time when me and my sister was younger i was like 5 and my sister was about 7 or 8. i ended up coming to live with my granparents but my sister stayed. not long after i came to live with my gran parents my mum and dad ended up getting a divorce i don't mind alot of the good things of when i was younger mainly the bad.
when my mum and dad was still together i was riding a bike at the time and my dad sold it behind mine and my mums back to get money to get something.
when they eventually got a divorce all i can remember is sitting in my dads car outside my granparents house and him asking if i wanted to live with him or my mum. i said i wanted to live with my granparents and i have done for the past 13 years. my dad wasn't around much after the divorce went through (he lived like 10 minutes away) but i can't remember seeing him for at least 5 years afterwards until i was about 10 when i seen him not that much but a few times. he later committed suicide when i was about 11 or 12. i did cry when i found out from my mum that he died but when i found out how he done it i never cried again and still haven't. never went to his funeral and never visit his grave. i don't feel bad for not seeing him all the years back as it was better on my mum as she found someone else. my dad did try to take me away for good shortly after the divorce but i never went. guess that is the way why i have turned out how i am.(not acting like any other person my age) i don't hold grudges i just get on with my life. i will never know why he ended it but all i can say is if i ever have kids when im older il be a better dad than he was to me and won't leave my kids in dark by ending my life or deserting them.
all the best mate for the future!
my mum and dad use to argue all the time when me and my sister was younger i was like 5 and my sister was about 7 or 8. i ended up coming to live with my granparents but my sister stayed. not long after i came to live with my gran parents my mum and dad ended up getting a divorce i don't mind alot of the good things of when i was younger mainly the bad.
when my mum and dad was still together i was riding a bike at the time and my dad sold it behind mine and my mums back to get money to get something.
when they eventually got a divorce all i can remember is sitting in my dads car outside my granparents house and him asking if i wanted to live with him or my mum. i said i wanted to live with my granparents and i have done for the past 13 years. my dad wasn't around much after the divorce went through (he lived like 10 minutes away) but i can't remember seeing him for at least 5 years afterwards until i was about 10 when i seen him not that much but a few times. he later committed suicide when i was about 11 or 12. i did cry when i found out from my mum that he died but when i found out how he done it i never cried again and still haven't. never went to his funeral and never visit his grave. i don't feel bad for not seeing him all the years back as it was better on my mum as she found someone else. my dad did try to take me away for good shortly after the divorce but i never went. guess that is the way why i have turned out how i am.(not acting like any other person my age) i don't hold grudges i just get on with my life. i will never know why he ended it but all i can say is if i ever have kids when im older il be a better dad than he was to me and won't leave my kids in dark by ending my life or deserting them.
all the best mate for the future!
